There are times in your life when you want your name on your jacket, like in high school or even college, but after that, unless the word ‘Coach’ precedes it, there is just no call for it.

So when a relative that does embroidery offered to get me a free windbreaker I asked for a blue one with a NY (Giants) logo on it. At first site I loved it, except that they felt the need to stitch my name under the logo. Why? Just why? So some random stranger can say ‘Hi Ron’ and I feel like a dick cause I think I should know them and have no idea who they are? If I want you to know my name, I’ll tell you.

I think it goes back to when I was 10 or 12 or so and a different relative got me a football jersey for my birthday. Again it was uber cool until I saw my name spelled out on the back. And not just ‘Ron’ but ‘RONNIE’ in large sew-on letters. Are you kidding me? But I endured and wore it to school one day soon after. Well, as you can imagine, all the older kids called me out, BY NAME, laughing in that sort of way that gives you nightmares. I’m not sure I ever wore that shirt again, even after I tore out the stitching and took off the letters.

Someone is not getting the memo that everyday life is not one of those events where you wear Price is Right name tag with letters written in large block capital letters with a jumbo sized black marker.

I rest my case.